Upfronts 2010: CBS

This is my fourth entry on the 2010 Upfronts. You can find my comments on NBC, Fox, and ABC as well.

Wednesday brings with it the fourth of the major Upfront presentations, CBS. This year it’s an interesting combination of both everything and nothing changing.

CBS actually began yesterday evening by announcing the cancellation of seven of it’s shows. None of these cancellations should be very surprising, though, except maybe to CBC, which inexplicably airs Ghost Whisperer several times daily. Cold Case, Ghost Whisperer, Numb3rs, Miami Medical, Accidentally on Purpose, New Adventures of Old Christine, and Gary Unmarried were all given the axe. Considering their ratings had all been tanking of late and many of their leads were working on other pilots, none of these come as a shock.

With the release of it’s new schedule, CBS is looking a lot like the ABC of recent years, in that they have made some very aggressive changes to the time periods of their returning shows. Survivor moves to Wednesdays, Big Bang Theory to Thursdays, CSI: NY to Fridays, and CSI: Miami to Mondays. The idea behind these moves is to take established series and use them as lead-ins for the new shows, hopefully building up the audiences faster than they otherwise would (pressing the channel change button on those remotes is hard!). This strategy has worked well in the past, but has become less effective in recent years as the use of DVRs and online viewing becomes more prevalent.

So that was the part where everything changed – the scheduling of old programs. The part where nothing changed? The new programs, of course. Of the six new series currently ordered by CBS, we have three cop shows (one of them a remake of Hawaii Five-0), a lawyer show, and two comedies.

There’s really not a lot worth saying about any of these new shows, but I’ll offer a few thoughts anyway, starting with Mike & Molly. This is a half hour comedy about an overweight couple who meet at “Overeaters Anonymous”. Clearly, it’s meant to target the increasingly overweight average viewer. However, just where the laughs will be coming from remains in doubt. If it tries to rely on jokes about its leads’ weight, it risks offending the equally overweight audience it is so clearly seeking. If it avoids the weight issues, it becomes just another cookie-cutter sitcom. Neither tactic screams “hit TV show”.

The less said about Hawaii Five-0, the better. It co-stars Daniel Dae Kim, but that’s probably just because he bought that house in Hawaii and doesn’t want to leave. He’s shown much better taste in choosing projects in the past, so I can’t imagine his involvement here is anything more than a convenient pay check and an excuse to keep his house.

Edit: Here's the pretty awful opening credits. They just feel amateur and forced to me.

The Defenders is the requisite lawyer show. But wait, this one’s different! It’s about “colorful Las Vegas attorneys”! That will make it sooo much better. Seriously, though, I think my favourite part of this series is that it will feature a lawyer, played by Jurnee Smollett, who is “looking to put her exotic dancing days behind her”. Yes, that’s a real character, even though it sounds like a made-up role an actor would list when describing the stupidest jobs they’ve ever worked.

Blue Bloods is yet another cop show, about a family of cops. The final cop show is the untitled Criminal Minds spinoff, which will air at midseason.

The final show CBS has added for next year is the much discussed $#*! My Dad Says. See how cleverly they cleaned up that title, making it palatable for the average, middle-American family? Apparently it will be referred to as “Bleep My Dad Says” when spoken of, but I personally like the suggestion that we read it literally as “Dollar Sign Pound Asterisk Exclamation Point My Dad Says”. The show is supposed to be based on the Twitter feed @ShitMyDadSays, where a son who lives with his elderly father posts all the “shit” that his “dad says”. Much of the appeal of this account is that his dad is regularly very profane and offensive. Obviously, as evidenced by the “cleansing” of the show title, this profanity and offensiveness cannot be transferred to network television. Instead all we we’re left with is a show about an curmudgeonly old man who lives with his younger family.

All in all, CBS’ new schedule looks to be the least inspiring of all the majors’ fall line-ups. I’ve been waiting all day to post this, the the hopes that some clips or trailers would be released that I could insert, to no avail. If some do pop up in the next day or two, I’ll come back and edit them in.

Edit: Those clips have finally turned up online here.

I’ll be back tomorrow for the final day of the Upfronts with a quick look at the CW.

Sleep well,

DTE