As I write this, there is a resignation letter sitting on the desk in front of me.
I had literally just typed the above sentence when my boss and the company’s Human Resources director came in to collect all of the engineering department (the four of us that are left) for a meeting. I’ll get to the content of that meeting in a minute, but first some background on how that letter came to be starring up at me.
If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you know that I work as an engineer for a major oil drilling supplier. My first year with the company consisted of travelling to various facilities around the world, working on different projects for different branches of the company. At the end of the first year, I would receive offers from offices throughout the company, of which I was to select the location for my permanent position. Which is exactly what happened, with one major difference. If there is an “urgent need” at one of the locations, this can override the chosen position. And that is exactly what happened to me. Rather than the position I wanted, I was sent to a city I didn’t want to move to and placed in a job I did not want to be doing.
I’ve struggled with what to do for the last month. I was determined to give the position a chance and not just write it off, which I have done. Unfortunately, my feelings on the job and the city have not changed. My options at this point are to pack up and move to this new city or quit.
If it was a job I liked in a city I didn’t want to be in or a city I loved with a bad job, I’d have no problem sticking it out while waiting for something better. The combination of the two makes it much more difficult, however. Moving my entire life to another city, all the while intending to move again, seems like a waste. Additionally, I feel a little like I’m scamming my employer by having them pay for training, setup, etc. when I intend to be gone as soon as possible.
On the other hand, there are very few engineering jobs out there right now. This year’s grads are having a really tough time getting jobs. Though I’d like to think I have a slight advantage in that I have some experience, how much difference will one year actually make? Most of the positions that are available require 5-10 years of experience. If I were to quit, it’s likely that I’ll be unemployed for at least 6 months, if not more.
I can afford to be unemployed, I just don’t want to be. My plan was to buy a house after I got my permanent position, so I have more than enough saved to live on while I look for work. It would delay the purchase of a house, but I won’t be starving and, in fact, wouldn’t even have to change my lifestyle all that much.
So that’s the decision I’ve been wrestling with for the past month or so: do I stay with my job, or do I quit?
I just got back from a short trip down to California, and I spent a lot of time working through this problem, trying to figure out what to do. I spent substantial time thinking in the two places where my thoughts are clearest – the animation building at Disney’s California Adventure and in swimming pools. I had all but decided that I would resign, hence the presence of the letter weighing down my desk, and this blog was originally intended to be a final sorting and organizing of my thoughts on the matter before I made my decision. Which brings me back to where I began.
As I write this, there is a resignation letter sitting on the desk in front of me.
Then came the meeting. We were informed that we would be cut back to alternating 3 and 4 day weeks. This is following the cutting of our department from 15 members down to 3 in the weeks leading up to my arrival (which begs the question why bring on someone new if you’re in such dire straits, but presumably I was cheaper than those who were let go). It was also made very clear that this reduction of work hours did not negate the possibility of more layoffs.
So now my decision has become a lot easier. I kept hoping for some sign as to what I should do, and this morning I got it. This ship is sinking. My personal and financial situation mean that I’m not stuck in a futile attempt to bail out the rapidly overwhelming floods of water until the day that the whole thing goes under. I have a lifeboat and it’s time to use it.
As I write this, there is a resignation letter sitting on the desk in front of me. But by the time you read this, it will be delivered.
Sleep well,
DTE
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Songs of the moment:
David Bowie – Heroes; Billy Talent – Rusted From The Rain; Journey – Don’t Stop Believing
Music while I wrote:
Green Day – 21st Century Breakdown, The Shins – Oh, Inverted World
