The Kids Aren't All Right

Children today are tyrants.  They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and terrorize their teachers.

- Socrates, 400 BC

Clearly, this isn't a new problem.  If Socrates had something to say about it, its been going on for at least 2400 years.  But, seriously, the next generation scares me.  A lot.

I'm an early member of Generation Y.  I consider myself, and others in my age group, to be quite respectful and, by and large, quality members of society.  Something changed, though, in the kids born in the mid to late nineties (still technically Gen Y kids).  While the majority are still respectful, a growing number are becoming increasingly vile.  They have no respect for their elders, authority figures, even their peers.  And where once the kids would stand united against the adults, an sort of honour among thieves mentality, they are becoming more and more vicious towards one another.  Just last week I witnessed an eleven year old girl take a walker away from a handicapped five year old, leaving him stranded, sitting at the bottom of a slide.  She didn't know the boy, had no grievance with him, but did it simply to torment him.  My job requires me to deal with a large number of kids, often in a disciplinary capacity.  When these kids get in trouble, they don't just accept their reprimand or punishment, but instead challenge, talk back, or openly defy the disciplining figure.    I was not a perfect child, and I got into my fair share of trouble.  But when I got in trouble, I would accept the consequences and then go find a new way to get into trouble.  I would never even have dreamed of talking back or arguing, for fear of what the person I was in trouble with might do and what my parents would do.

And therein lies the problem.  All issues with current generations can be traced back to the pervious generations.  Believe me, writing this is making me feel way older than I actually am, but it's a fact.  If the next generation's screwed up, we've only got ourselves to blame.  Or, more specifically, the parents and authority figures.  Kids need boundaries.  They want boundaries, whether they know it or not.  That fact is quite widely accepted among psychologists.  But the current crop of parents, mostly from Gen X, have instead adopted an attitude of minimal interference.  We can't let our kids interfere with our careers/social life/recreational time, they can just raise themselves.  Or maybe they fear becoming like their own parents.  After all, they came out of a time when parents were much more strict, but they rebelled and fought to change the system.  Or, possibly most frightening of all, maybe they're just too lazy.  It takes a lot of work to raise a kid.  To hold your ground and enforce rules.  It's much easier to just let them turn on the TV or Xbox and then ignore them, letting them do their own thing.

This complete failing of the parents isn't being helped by the authority figures in other areas.  For many years, we've been overly concerned with children's self esteem.  As a result we've overcompensated in our attempts to protect them.  Kids receive awards just for participating.  They can't be told to sit out of an activity as punishment because excluding them will damage their self esteem.  They can't be sent to detention because it will damage their self esteem.  Several school districts in the US have even banned the game Tag because it could damage kids self esteem.  Tag.  I could maybe understand their logic if it was Red Rover or some other game where teams are chosen and someone could be left out, but Tag?  Fortunately, this type of thinking seems to be on the way out.  But we must still deal with the consequences of a decade of children who have been raised with a distinct sense of entitlement, superiority, and an inability to accept that they may be wrong, that they may not be special.

So, where are we left?  Well, probably not as bad off as you might think.  As I said before, even though individual instances of disrespect and cruelty are becoming more outrageous, these kids are still in the minority.  It's also entirely possible that, when forced into the adult world, these kids will be able to change into respectful, contributing members of society.  After all, another hallmark of this generation is that they are the most adaptable to change of any generation to come along so far.  And, at the very least, there's still one more round of kids to come before these ones start reproducing, with current research suggesting that the generation currently popping out new kids is far more family oriented and rule based then the last set of parents.  That means, worst case scenario, we can continue alternating between more and less respectful generations.  And isn't that an encouraging thought?

Sleep well,

DTE